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July 16, 2013


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Michele Bate

That's an excellent way of sounding more positive, even when offering a refusal! I like the idea of turning round the eventual response - it comes down to being mindful and thinking for a moment before answering, rather than just blurting out your first reaction of "no".

The other speech pattern I've made a conscious effort to change is starting sentences with "Well..." It sounds so defensive - try listening to politicians put on the spot in interviews.

Arthur Weiss

I sometimes do a training exercise where I ask pairs of people to arrange a holiday together. For one group, person one makes a suggestion. person 2 then responds and has to use the word "but" in their response. The second group does the same thing using the word "and". (Or you can do the same thing with "but" the first time and then repeat using "and").

The "but" groups never go on holiday - as there are too many problems keeping them at home. The"and" groups often arrange really interesting holidays with lots of detail on how, where, when and what they'll be doing/going.

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